Freedom of the Press

Here's a little excerpt from the week 4 picks over at the prestigious Minnesota newspaper, the Pioneer Press...

"VIKINGS AT TITANS (-3)

Brad Childress benched Tarvaris Jackson in favor of Gus Frerotte because he feels "you've got to have the mentality of a serial killer at quarterback." Upon hearing that, a puzzled Jackson wondered what his coach has against Count Chocula and Cap'n Crunch. Pick: Titans by 4"

Racism is an intriguing thing to me, especially in America. I've found that in this country, rather than being able to openly mock blacks by making monkey noises during sporting events (care to visit Spain?), we are able to subtly achieve the same sentiment without actually knowing that we are being racist.

Aside from calling him stupid (ironically within the confines of a less than intelligent joke), which isn't inherently a qualification for racist thought, this author's first cereal reference is to "Count Chocula." Say what you will, but that is purely racial. And what I find most fascinating, is that this guy probably didn't even spend the time to consult his subconscious after re-reading, nor his editor.

It's a wild country that we live in, and it's people like this that will be too oblivious to vote to fix our lovely nation - you know, that nation where we can write shit like this.

Unbelievable..But is it really?

Here is a message I left my yahoo fantasy league.

In Acknowledging Racism in Football, I will...

Posted by: sam h (TJACK=TITLE)

Message ID: 1 Sep 17 1:55pm | Reply | Post | <>

Leave Tarvaris Jackson as my starter for the rest of the fantasy season. Brad Childress should be held accountable for some of the worst coaching in modern history, not Tarvaris.

I lose with the sport.

-Sam

That is all there is to be said on the subject. It will be difficult for me to love the Vikings from here on out. And good luck in the pocket Gus.

Week 2

I don't have many words for what occurred earlier today. I just went for a long run/walk in an attempt to figure it out and sweat out the beer consumed in cahoots with this depression.

People will blame, and boo T-Jack. That will not stop. And that is what disheartened me the most about today, having to listen to the home fans boo a kid whose fault it isn't. I don't even want to begin to get into the racial implications of this non-stop "he can't" business. It plainly isn't the fact that he can't, it's just that he is "not allowed to." Childress and Bevel lost us this game in full.

Do you want to say that it was a few dropped passes, blown pass interference calls? maybe. Do you want to say that it was 1 OF THE 4 bad passes Tarvaris threw? Yes, you probably do want to say that. It's really easy to blame the black quarterback for not being smart enough to read defenses, or for not having that soft, white touch on his passes. When he hits the letters of his receivers on slant routes, or throws a pretty pass into the endzone, or throws two quick passes to get us into field goal range with 25 seconds left in the first half, do you notice?

Explain to me how a quarterback is supposed to "read a defense" when you run a big I set with 1 wideout, that wideout being bobby wade, and either run the ball, or run a bootleg? You can't. So when Tarvaris dumps the ball out to "I made the team?" Tahi for 3 yards on a game deciding 3rd and 7, and you boo, please understand who you should be yelling at.

I'll give you a hint. It's not the black guy.

Concessions of a Herb

Thanks

I see your point but I don’t entirely agree. I guess I don’t see Favre in the same level as Clemens . . . yet. If he were to keep doing this over the next 2 or 3 years then yes I’d start thinking he was a bit of a dick. From what I understand Favre didn’t want to get out of Green Bay until he understood he wouldn’t be the starter, and that’s a bit understandable. A guy who really had one of his better seasons last year sitting on the bench for a guy who’s never made and NFL start in his career? Call me crazy but that seems dumb to me. At the same time the Packers made a commitment to Aaron Rodgers and well I respect them for not turning their back on him. I’d much rather have to face an Aaron Rodgers led Packer team than one with Brett Favre at the helm.

I’m a fan of T-Jack but you can count me as one of the group that would be excited if somehow the Vikes got ahold of Favre. T-Jack is good but put a veteran back there like Favre and I think the Vikings offense ranks at least to 10, possibly to 5. With Tavaris that’s much less likely to happen. The nice thing about Tavaris is that when he does have a horrible game, which he will at some point this year, the fans in the stands can start the best chant ever.

BOOTY! BOOTY! BOOTY! BOOTY!!!!

Peyton's good but have you ever heard of Jeff George?

by halfchest on Jul 15, 2008 8:31 AM PDT up reply

Blog Conversation Between Myself and a Herb

Oops Thank You

I’m so sick of people saying how it would be stupid to sign Favre and that he’s a egomaniac and all this other bullcrap.

Favre is great quarterback and if he played for any team other than the Packers Gonzo and others wouldn’t be so ignorantly opposed to Favre becoming a Viking. Favre is what would put this team over the top.

“That Guy” is a better QB than we’ve seen here well since uh, Tarkenton? and even that’s a maybe. With our stud running game Favre could cut down on the interceptions by not having to carry the team on his back.

All this said I don’t want to get too carried away, I really don’t believe it will happen but I also don’t think there’s a chance in hell that the Pack pays Brett 12 million to sit on the bench. I don’t think he would accept that role and he shouldn’t have to.

Peyton's good but have you ever heard of Jeff George?

by halfchest on Jul 13, 2008 3:44 PM PDT reply


what do you mean by "our"?

“If he played on any team other than the Packers Gonzo and others (Real Viking Fans) wouldn’t be so ignorantly (Correctly) opposed to Favre (Clemens) becoming a Viking”

Yes, you are right. You are right in the sense that a Viking fan would object to his Decade+ long arch nemesis (regardless of his shit personality) becoming our quarterback. I still enjoy rooting for the Vikings, which is one reason I would never be a packer fan…i wouldn’t want to have to root for the Brett Favre’s

take, that

by sdot on Jul 14, 2008 5:36 PM PDT up reply

Huh?

First off I’m not sure what you’re trying to say by calling Favre Clemens. Is it the painkiller addiction? Very different in my mind. Favre was man enough to admit it to the public and change his ways where as Clemens denies constantly despite so many saying he’s guilty. Either way I’m not going to get into that.

As far as Favre’s Shit personality, are you serious? I don’t know but even as a Vikings fan I can’t really say he has a shit personality. If you can point out some instances of that, I’d be interested. Just making a claim like that and not pointing anything out doesn’t really make a very good point. ‘

At least you’re owning up to the fact that you pretty much don’t want him on the team because he was our arch nemesis for so long. I never saw it that way though, I hated losing to the packers but never once did I hate Favre or really any single player. If they had a guy who played dirty then I would have hated him but seriously, why hate a guy just cause he’s good.

Well, I’m done being a Favre apologist, didn’t realize the hate that ran through purple nation.

Peyton's good but have you ever heard of Jeff George?

by halfchest on Jul 14, 2008 9:46 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

...

The Clemens comparison is based solely on the god complex – they treat fans disingenuously by toying with the idea of retirement very publicly. They also deal with it throughout the season, creating media frenzies around their individual selves rather than the team. To further this, Favre has now joined the ranks of the retired/un-retired. We watched him cry about the sport, and if we wanted to watch a little sportscenter before bed, we were forced to watch Favrecenter, and i’m sure he watched too as his career was glorified to the utmost (not unjustifiably, because yes, he has been a phenomenal quarterback over the years, there is no denying that – how great? people do differ in their perception). All this is well and good, if you stay retired. Don’t publicize your “itch” to return to Chris Mortensen after “your” Packers have reached out to you on numerous occasions this offseason (and you chose time and again to stick to your retirement). Make it private, and do it in a timely manner. Favre did neither and has now created a spectacle of himself and his team (but really himself), based on the publics’ undying, boundless adoration that he has created with his past efforts.

This was my main argument regarding his “shit personality,” but yes it goes further. For all the small-town southern charm that this man has (as did Clemens), and for all the Wrangler’s common-man commercials he gets paid millions for, he is just as much the opposite as is possible. The whole appeal that he had in his nonchalant, laid back, country self, is eroded at the core by acting as if he’s above his team, and above his employer. This is a job, this isn’t a circus. When he signed a 10-year contract worth 10+ million a year, there was no get-out-of-my-contract-whenever-I-want clause. The fact that he has been able to galvanize any support is beyond me, when if you look at it as an employer-employee relationship, he lied to his boss, then gathered his One-Man-Union together to bang on the gates.

If flashy, in-your-face T.O. pulled this nonsense, regardless of career accomplishments, you wouldn’t be having any of it. It’s the same way Bonds was splattered in steroid blood, and it took lying under oath, and perhaps even more to turn people against Clemens. That good ol’ boy American white country smile does wonders for deception. Hell, ask George.

And with that, T-Jack year 3, let the glory begin!

take, that

by sdot on Jul 14, 2008 10:24 PM PDT up reply

Favre? Really?

I thought I wouldn't have to dignify these rumors with words, but it seems that even reputable Vikings reporters have decided to do so.
(Sean Jenson, Sid Hartman)

Also Sid, the whole "if Vikings got Clemens, they'd get a stadium" thing is irrelevant - he'd play this year, blow a game for us in the playoffs with multiple interceptions, retire, un-retire, come back, then stunt the growth of our young, capable quarterbacks just enough to blow our chances at excellence when that new stadium is finally erected and inhabitable. You're thinking is as archaic as you.

Also, in scanning various Vike's blogs over the past few days, I've read a lot of support for this idea from "fans." To be completely frank, I find this support to be absolutely mind blowing. We have gathered together a great team with gobs of potential, getting ready for a deep playoff push and a boundless future, and yet, a great amount of fans and columnists have found it completely reasonable to push to get Roger Clemens.

I am relatively young in Fan years, and still have the cognitive wherewithal to understand that employing our Arch-nemesis of the past decade+ this year would be the absolute worst thing this franchise could do, taking away everything we have built for and allowing Clemens to "guide" us to "the promise land." In all honesty, I would rather lose in the playoffs this year, preparing for future glory, than to have this asshole get the satisfaction of our job security even if we were guaranteed a SB victory.

To all of you fans who are rooting for this to happen, shame on you. In the resonant words of our slot-extraordinaire - "He's still the enemy. He's a Green Bay Packer."

Final Words

Pat Williams - "I love my team," Williams said Friday. "I will ride it out with T-Jack. He's been with us, and he's made progress this offseason."

Writer's Block

This probably has to do a lot with the fact that i've been busy being a productive member of society for the past few months, but more so probably the fact that I enjoy reading thedailynorseman more than I like/trust/care for my own words of text.

I am going to be even more busy this month, so for my readers (at the moment, myself and perhaps the occasional kind friend), it's going to be dry until the preseason. Once preseason begins, I am going to be covering the vikings like kobe does a white woman - rude, yet proper.

I can't wait either.

I made one goal for this summer amongst my various tasks, and that goal is to not die. I don't want to die solely because I believe this is the first Viking team that has a legitimate shot at the Superbowl since '98. My young self has been waiting a decade for this opportunity, and I don't want untimely death to blow it for me. I'm really not kidding about this. If we had time I would explain this sentiment to you in person, and surely you would leave feeling awkward.

This is going to be a great season. See you soon

Smoltz

A Great Man. A Great Career.

been gone so long, i return with LEBRON

I offer you a picture, not to show you how great a father Lebron is (which after seeing that sportscenter special, exists without doubt), but to highlight the perfect metaphor embodied in every aspect of this photograph.

With Baby as With Team

The Camera is pressed to Lebron's face, every so caefully avoiding the small child to capture an expression to be used out of its entire context.

His Child is holding Lebron's hand with his own, only big enough to latch onto half of Lebron's pointer. Lebron offers that right pointer unconsciously, as he protects the child with the firm grasp of his left.

The Child loves his father's coddling, but is more interested in the other goings on around him.

Lebron gazes off into the distance, again, participating in what is the present, but looking beyond the all facets of his immediate world - the child, the cameraman, even through the fans ahead of him.

What More Can Be?

In watching game 7 this evening, my brother and I were startled to the core with the Cavs play outside of their King. This was no more exemplified by any one/thing than the entire body of work that Wally Szczerbiak offered yesterday.

15 minutes played - 0-3 from the field, 2 turnovers, 1 rebound, 4 personal fouls
The stats line is about a third of the issue.

When Eddie House bounded after the ball in the 2nd quarter, Wally had about 15 feet on him...5 seconds later, Eddie was on the floor, having made a great pass to a teammate - that teammate was on his way to the foul line for two free throws. After fouling him, Wally threw his hands down mildly and walked back to the bench for a timeout.

A minute into the 2nd half Wally picked up his 4th foul and that was it for his time on the court.

At the close of the game, as Lebron stormed off the the locker room, brooding with all the passion, intensity, and despair of a man who had left it all on the court in the biggest game of his career, Wally Szczerbiak shared in the Celtics joy, laughing with his old teammates and stealing some extra camera time before heading home for the summer.

Judging by the $9 million he accrued this year, and the guaranteed $12 million he will recieve next year, that home is probably fairly comfy. In fact, Wally's biggest decision after the game was probably which house to go to. Granted, unlike Lebron, he'll most likely have to fly commercial, but perhaps this discrepancy proves that God remains fair and just.

When he moved into the Cavs starting lineup, Wally offered to the media - “I've worked hard, I've tried to earn that type of respect, now I just have to show I deserve it.”

Nope. If last nights game showed anything, it illustrated the absolute lack of heart, desire, and dependability of an overpaid, slow, pretty, white, snowflake of a talent. There's a reason this man's a "journey" man. Hard work is relative to the privileged, and as Wally bathes in money, he forgets the ethic that drove him to high school stardom. But then again, after living affluently in Spain and Long Island growing up, what more do you want than to land the head cheerleader?

When Lebron takes baths in his money, he is probably making hypothetical 2k8 trades for his Cavs, because why not play GM after 4 years of incompetence? Why not search for what can be more? Because Lebron is more. He is more than a max contract. Lebron is the face of a city, a legend at the age of 23, and we are all witnesses to the greatness that has only begun (and already averaged 30, 7, & 7).

He can't shoot? False
He can't win "by himself"? True
He has to involve his teammates more? False

Lebron spent 1:12 on the bench last night. It happened in the 2nd quarter. In said time, the shot-clock was run down to its end on two possessions, and on a third, the ball was turned over. Celtics 6, Cavs 0, Lebron, back in.

It was sad to see a man who cares so much leave the court in such agony. A true star push his abilities to their absolute limits to achieve a goal, a goal that his team wanted no real part in.

Today Skip Bayless will say that Lebron shot too many 3's, (3-11, taken out of context), and that in typical young fashion he took a terrible running, well defended shot down 3 late (basically the last real gasp). He will say this because either he is a complete dick-head, or because it stirs the audience up, or most likely, in fact definitely both.

Yes he took a bad shot, but who cares. He deserved to take a bad shot, and if he had any players that could play basketball, he wouldn't have taken a bad shot. It was great defense, and that was that. 5 on 1, the 5 are going to win in the pros, every time.

Draft Algebra

< <

Goodbye #37

In the face of injuries to Tank Williams and Mike Doss, we were forced to make a bold waiver decision around week 11 last year. Ladies and gentlemen, Eric Frampton - the final piece of our dominant special teams triumvirate - now, he waits with a printed Vikings roster for 2009, pondering the implications.

Sure, when we signed Madieu, it was ok, we needed a starter, and Eric knew there was another role for him.

When we signed Boulware, Eric was still ok because he knew that we usually carry two backups, and Bouleware's a prototypical SS, while Eric assesses his ball-hawking abilities as more of a fit to backup Darren.

Then, on draft day, the Vikings traded up a few spots. Brian Brohm? Malcolm Kelly?

No, Tyrell Johnson.

As Eric crumbled to the floor, I sent a little bit of my cold one down there with him.

The NBA Playoffs

...where playing with urgency for the first time in a must win game down 19 in the 4th quarter happens...

Congratulations Suns. Way to really lay it all on the line for your fans.

I can't wait for a witty Shaq "there's always has to be a first to make history" type of comment after this one - your season is over in the first round of the playoffs - you have no salary cap space, an aging point guard and an over the hill former great.

The Spurs just ran a basketball clinic, boring? Affective.

You may know me as a former coach of the year...

There could be many captions for this photograph, but I can't think of one that could comprehensively assess it.

Van Gundy and Marc Jackson discussed how he is one of the top coaches in the league...based on this idea that he is an "offensive genius."

What is genius about a stagnant, isolation on the block based half court offense? Not only is Shaq isolated on the block, but when Shaq comes out, Diaw is isolated on the other side.

What happened to the pick and roll with Amare? What happened to the drive and kick? Why is Raja Bell not shooting the ball EVER?

Answer: I dunno, geez

BUT, I will say that Mike D'antoni is not coaching this offense well, and I don't really know whom to attribute this hybrid 3-2 zone to, but THAT DOESN'T WORK EITHER WHEN THEY ATTACK THE MIDDLE AND SHOOT OPEN THREES

Most importantly, the Phoenix Suns have the absolute worst out-of-timeout offense/defense I have ever witnessed. If the stats can be recovered for the first play out of a timeout for the Suns on each side of the ball, I am willing to guarantee that over 75% of the time we...
on offense: turn the ball over and/or draw up an mid-range isolation and miss the shot
on defense: allow the other team to place the ball into the basket, resulting in 2 to 3 points for their cause

Why does this go unnoticed by so many? Ohhhhhhh I forgot that he was coach of the year WITH AN OFFENSIVE AND DEFENSIVE SCHEME THAT WE DONT USE AT ALL ANYMORE!!!!!!!

It is halftime, and I have become a Spurs fan. SWEAR

hi. c'mover?

Only if you give me 70 million dollars!

k.

A Day in the Life of a Braves/Suns/Vikings Fan

John Smoltz, 3,000th strikeout came in the second inning of today's game. At the age of 53, this man DEALS. I can honestly say, in all my years on earth, that I have never seen a more effective slider. He is now one of sixteen to reach this monumental mark, and the only pitcher in history to have over 200 wins and 150 saves. The only way this man is not first ballot hall-of-famer is if he bets on his team, drinks an HGH cocktail on camera, injects steroids into his wife, watches his trainer inject his wife with steroids, then invites henry waxman over and lets his trainer inject steroids into him and his wife at the same time, later forcing Waxman to inject himself with an HGH/steroid hybrid at gunpoint.

So how do the Braves repay a man who allows 1 earned run and 3 hits, while fanning a total of 10 herbs? Oh, they get shutout.

Now I understand that Bobby Cox is an excellent manager and what have you, but why are you starting ALL OF YOUR LEFTIES against a left-hander, a day following your successful execution in bringing your lefties off the bench against a left-hander with similar stuff? Kelly Johnson, aside from not being able to hit lefties worth a lick, has a superior, faster lead-off hitter behind him in the young Martin Prado. This kid essentially owns lefties, is a better defensive second-baseman, and gives you versatile speed at the top of the order. Na, sit him. I like that Kelly kid.


The Suns were confident going into game 2, considering themselves the "better team." Stretching the lead to 14 in the early second quarter, it looked as though they were on their way. Well maybe it looked that way to many, but to an honest Suns fan, it was obviously too good to be true.

End of 1st half - Amare Stoudemire - 25 points, 9/11 shooting, 3 rebounds
End of 3rd quarter - Amare Stoudemire - 25 points, 9/19 shooting, 0 rebounds
End of 4th quarter - Amare Stoudemire - 33 points, 13/25 shooting, 4 rebounds

Amare has been my favorite player for a couple of years now, an almost impossible blend of raw athleticism, body control, and work ethic. When he went down for a season with microfracture surgery, he worked on his mid-range jumper and free throws to the tune of 80% from the line and 50+% from the outside, and seemingly did not lose an ounce of athleticism.

What he didn't work on was his mental game. I am not going to say he is terrible at on-ball defense like every other analyst, because he is not. He is actually a very affective on-the-ball defender...the problem is he is never on-the-mother-fucking-ball. I have never seen a player look more lost on the court in his matchups. Amare roams the court, flashing out on screens juuuust enough to not affect the shot AND lose his man.

His other issue: boxing out
I don't care how many fucking high schools this 22 year old no college rookie went to - I learned how to box out in middle school. There is a reason why he tips the ball out of bounds when opponents miss the second free throw. This is also the reason why a shooting guard (Udoka) gets Amare to tip the ball out of bounds on a missed shot attempt. Amare is never in position to box out, and even when he is, he jumps. Put a FUCKING body on someone. Clapping and saying "my bad" is about as affective as trying to make a salient societal commentary with this.

Maybe, just maybe, this has something to do with coaching, or lack thereof. Na, D'antoni is a former coach of the year! Why would he need to teach the fundamentals it takes to win basketball games/titles/beat the Spurs/play anything like the Spurs in the clutch/not embarrass yourselves in the third quarter? One reason would be the general goal of paying these nitwits millions of dollars, but sometimes I forget that goal with all the bullshit that occurs on the court.

I understand that he's an offensive freak, and i've defended him for so long, but I just can't do it anymore. NO POINTS IN THE THIRD QUARTER? This is because Amare disappears, period. I was listening to Mike and the Mad Dog this morning, and when the topic of Amare came up i quickly tried to drown myself in the bathwater, failing after about 15 seconds, rising quickly as the water poured onto my bathmat. Solution? Hid the bathmat, but later, after listening to Mad Dog explain completely fairly why Amare "bothers him." Formerly I would argue and stick up for the kid. But the fact is that he's not a kid anymore. MVP candidate? Play that calibur of basketball in meaningful games, for the WHOLE game. Sadly, I am starting to believe that I will never see that from him.

Just look at the stat line STAT.



Speaking of stats, I know of a certain NEW MINNESOTA VIKING who would certainly live up to Amare's self-created lie of a nickname...

WELCOME TO MINNESOTA YOU QUARTERBACK/ALCOHOL/DUI POUNDING MONSTER

The Star Tribune is reporting that we have finalized a deal with the Chiefs, in which we would send our 1st and two third round picks in this weekends draft to acquire this 26 year-old stud.

One shot for Chilly
Two shots for Ziggy

Boy are these two really laying out the road to the Superbowl, almost as readily as the good 'ole Minnesota legislative powers that be are laying out the carpet for a new stadium...

I don't really need to say much about Allen, but I will say that ever since the beat down he put on our O-line in week 3, i've been dreaming (mostly wet) about the prospect of trading for him. I honestly think this makes our line, regardless of the rotating under-achievers on the other end, absolutely beastly. Williams & Williams will be accounting for their usual 3 clients, leaving yer girl JA with a one-on-one matchup. Yes, all that will exist between him and the opposing quarterback is some sort of oaf and perhaps a shifty young athletic running back whose D1-AA coach never felt the need to teach blocking in their Nebraska style offense.



The irony of this night is that I received a "we got JA!!!!" text from a fellow Bar-None-Ian just as the Suns were rounding the 7 minute mark of the third quarter without a basket, and about an hour after I watched the Braves squander 1 of their 162. How is this ironic? It's not, it just fucking coincidence. Being a fan means you have to deal with this, as well as this, and this, as well as this, and this, as well as this, and i'll take either with passion any day of the week.

Things that we need...

Phoenix Suns...

WHY CAN'T YOU GET A DEFENSIVE REBOUND? WHY CAN YOU NOT BOX OUT AND CATCH THE BALL SO THAT THE OTHER TEAM CAN'T SNEAK IN AND SCORE ON THE PUT BACK? WHY IS BORIS DIAW GETTING PAID 9 MILLION DOLLARS TO PLAY 82 SOFT FRENCH-LIKE GAMES? WHY CAN'T SHAQ MAKE AN UNGUARDED LAYUP? WHY, AFTER ATTENDING 6 DIFFERENT HIGH SCHOOLS, HAS AMARE NOT BEEN TAUGHT TO GET A BODY ON SOMEONE AND ASCERTAIN THE ROUND LEATHER BALL? WHY IS OUR COACH NOT SCOLDING THESE PROFESSIONALS FOR ALLOWING CARMELO ANTHONY TO PROCURE 3 OFFENSIVE REBOUNDS IN THE FIRST HALF?

These are the makings of why being a professional sports fan is so frustrating. You sit at home and watch players like Dwight Smith laugh on the sideline while we are drinking ourselves into a coma in utter despair. I would trade my girlfriend without hesitation to not have to relive that 34-0 Packer blowout, and i'm sure Dwight is off smoking a bowl with Cory Redding.

THAT SAID I CANNOT STAND WATCHING THESE LETHARGIC PRODUCTS OF AN INFLATED MARKET DICTATE THE HOURLY FLUCTUATION OF MY EMOTIONS.

Yet, I watch nonetheless

Free Agents (a two/thirds success)

I got a C in statistics a few years ago, but without hesitation I will offer you this equation (honed to its full capacity last year in foundations of financial markets...C+ w/ curve):

Free Agents (X) = (W*WR[1])+(W*S[1])+(W*DE[1])

For the purposes of this exercise, I have designated each position with the value of 1. W signifies the weight (necessity) attributed to the acquisition of each position. It would be ideal for X to be as close to 1 as possible...drum roll please...

X = .25(1) + .2(1) + .55(0) --> X = 0.45

0.45 you say? That translates to having sufficiently addressed 45% of our team needs (when broken down to our three most important positions). If you didn't follow, then you wouldn't have done well on my first midterm either (43/120? yes, yes that would be the correct ratio written on that fateful piece of parchment). Still, after rigorous analysis, statisticians have found that these probabilities translate into percentages, making our percentage, as previously rendered, 45 percent...Without the curve, that, my friends, is an F.

Now you're probably thinking - "An F is a little harsh isn't it?" "Heck we got arguably the best receiver and safety on the market, that's pretty impressive, is it not?" "Why am i reading the text of a C student?"

Well, the fact is folks, that I once considered my "F" on that first midterm to be a little harsh. Then I took a long look at my exam, and upon further review, realized that all things considered, I had really failed this sucker. Sure, i got the first two problems right, but after a brief attempt at the third, i realized i just wasn't going to tackle it (not to mention the next 4).

This is a little bit like our Vikings of new. We went out strong and got two great players
***Along with a solid fullback, but i find it somewhat silly we were willing to part ways with a true hall of famer still playing to his full potential - just you wait and see how much we are going to miss those little 6 yard swings with a broken tackle or 2 - not to mention his self-proclaimed girlfriend coming to BAR NONE and cheering with the faithful - we're probably going to see her down the street in a jets uniform this season buying those clowns shots.

That said, Bernard Berrian is a great upgrade for our unit, pairing a speedy deep threat with our future possession and TD wideout Sidney, and Wade (oh how I waver on you) in the slot, AP out of the backfield - I like TJ's options.

BREAK TIME!!!!
Stars are not just like us, nor are they like scrubs

Here are some of the things that B Twice does that Troy OMG I Suck Williamson doesn't

He Makes Over The Shoulder Catches

He Jumps In The Air To Celebrate Touchdowns With Teammates


He Holds His Ball In The Air Because He Caught It And Scored So It Is His

FIN

Ok, so I like this guy. It will be interesting to see how Childress utilizes him in the west coast offense. I have yet to be sold on his ability to run over the middle (he's about 180 some pounds), nor his agility and ability to break tackles after the catch), but regardless, he is an upgrade of epic proportion.

Madieu Williams is a ballhawking safety, and will compliment Sharper very well (by that i mean they are both ballhawking safteys and there is nothing I enjoy more than a quick saftey jumping a route and picking that pigskin out of the air). He doesn't hit like Dwight Smith, but then again he doesn't hit the roach like Dwight either, which is a plus because there are rules against that both in the NFL and in America as a nation. In the cover two style we play, ASIDE FROM A GOOD PASS RUSH, it is necessary to have safeties that can effectively cover the field, and Madieu is just that.
***He is also from Sierra Leone. This fact may go unnoticed by some, but for some reason I strongly feel that he may appreciate his contract a little more than that fucking stoner.

Why the "F"!!!

All of this considered, we didn't get a Defensive End of any notable quality, by which I mean we actually didn't get any Defensive End. I hate to kick, beat, stomp, spray with a firehose, shoot in the hooves, talk down to as a superior being a dead horse, but is it just me who thinks we need a pass rush? I was watching Sportcenter yesterday and Shawn Merriman (picked after Troy), along with Mark whats his face were asked whether or not it was more important to have a pass rusher or a shutdown corner. Aside from the fact that there hasn't been a true shutdown corner since PRIME-TIME, both men, without hesitation, proclaimed that a pass rusher was obviously more important to any team's pass defense.

Now I am not necessarily blaming us for not trying, as we had scheduled interviews with my three favorite prospects, but the fact is that we didn't deliver, and now we must acknowledge this, and address it.

Chris Long and Vernon Gholston (both will be picked anywhere from #2-#10) are going to be absolute beasts. How about pulling out all the stops to trade up for a shot at one of these guys? We are a deep team at most positions. Thin at safety, but we have rufus alexander coming back from his acl injury (he was dominant in college) to compliment our starters, and we still can't figure out how to fit mccauley into the DB rotation when everyone is healthy.
*I would like to quickly insert that we should have gone after OT Kwame Harris - he's young, large, and not Ryan Cook
That said, I am sick of drafting DE's with "potential" in the middle of the first round (Udeze at 15, Erasmus at 18), that exist in the middle of the road as adequate backups. Our entire DE rotation is now one of glorified backups!!! This is not going to cut it if we want to make a real run at Tampa. Let's get our resources together. We have Denver's third and Jacksonville's sixth, not to mention all of our own picks at the moment. And let's make a run at an impact end, one that has proven himself to the max in his collegiate career. One that has the size and speed, and that has proven himself in a tough conference (k well Gholston is proven i promise).

We can't rely on the blitz to get pressure, and give these cushioned 10 yard routes open reign over our defense. Our corners are bump-at-the-line, physical corners, not speed demons, and we need that end speed to most effectively utilize these skills.

Pass Rush, People! Otherwise We Won't Be Eating Any

Waiting to Reflect On Free Agent Aquisitions

I want to wait until the end of the week to start a discussion about the Vikes signings, because I am praying we sign Jevon Kearse (yes, he's old, but so is my dad, and he's still good at his job). Aside from this prayer, i am also in a business school hell week. This weekend i will sit down at this here modern day typewriter to hash out some thoughts. I really like what we've done so far, although I am still perplexed by the idea that defensive end could possibly not be the most important need of this team.

I don't mean to beat a dead horse, but c'mon. We were 32nd in the league in passing yards allowed per game. There are only 32 teams in the NFL. We are part of the NFL. By stringent deductive reasoning, I have figured that this means that we are the worst team in the NFL at defending the pass. Where does this problem start? You know my mantra. Let's githerdone

Oh Alas Mr. Mckinnie

Why, Why, Why

You are so much larger than most human beings, and yet, you need to prove your strength by fighting at a club, being asked to leave, going to a strip club, leaving the strip club and then returning to the earlier club to continue your initial fight, then drunkenly resisting arrest...

Overpaid Children.

The Enigma that is NFL Logic

pic courtesy of the Star Tribune

So, the Vikings have decided to entertain trade proposals for Troy Willamson...yes...this would imply that teams are interested in proposing a human and/or perhaps the draft rights to a human for a human that lacks two of the most necessary features of the body.

At first thought, i figured this was just a generous way of telling Troy that he would surely be cut soon enough, and if he cared to use some of that signing bonus on an agent to shop him around, he could do so in the mean time. BUT WAIT. It seems that there actually is interest...and a lot of it...The Star reported that there are currently 8 teams excited to inquire about Troy's availability. 8! 8 football teams!!! 1/4 of the league covets this man!!!

I have heard some talk recently about how he could be utilized more effectively in a spread, 3 wide set, as the slot receiver, allowing him to use his speed (i.e. catch short slants and run, so he doesn't have to catch over his shoulder or any of that normal NFL receiver type stuff)...but I wish to refute that with the simple thought that there are many, many athletes who run track. These athletes have world class straight line speed and agility. These athletes also do not play football. This could be because they fear contact and would rather not partake in it (Troy Williamson), or they do not react well to contact (Troy Williamson), or that their speed is most effective without barriers (Troy Williamson), especially moving ones (Troy Williamson), or perhaps they understand that they don't have what it takes to catch moving objects while running (yes, him). The point is, why would any team want to take on such a contract for a 4.28 40 that is fearful of contact and can't catch? This makes him useless in returning situations even more so than at receiver. It has been said that track star Maurice Green would have clocked in between 4.00 and 4.14 seconds in an NFL combine style 40 yard dash, so why don't we ask him to play football? Oh, that's right, because he's not a football player (he's also like 56, but ya feel me on the comparison).

Now, for the sake of the teams who care to incorporate you into their system, I will speak to Troy directly, in hopes that he will hang up the cleats in favor of more economically sound choices for these organizations

Troy:

There are requirements to playing certain positions at an NFL level. When I watched Calvin Johnson a lot this year, it seemed at times that his head wasn't in the games, or he was a little shy on his routes, but that can be fixed. When you begin to assess a rookie on the field, his potential isn't confined to the statistics of the combine. Field speed, awareness, and tenacity come into the scope...When I watch you Troy, I watch you fear the middle of the field, run too close to the sideline on deep routes, run out of bounds for no reason and illegally return to the field to catch the ball, drop hooks, slants, streaks, posts, and the list goes on. You return kickoffs as if someone is going to tackle you!!!

I gave you the benefit of the doubt, and I wanted this to be your season. You had worked hard in Nike vision camp, and told me that you would prove your doubters wrong. Then you did not. Then you had overly long concussion after-effects. Then you whined about your game-check. Then, in the final game you had to prove yourself, you dropped two crucial, perfectly thrown passes...

You have never been shy on entitlement in your illustrious Viking career, but this one truly takes the cake.

"I believe a team will see that [I'm available] and jump on it." - Troy Williamson

Please get your attitude and deplorable skill set off of this team

my apologies - a look towards the future.

I have been recently absent from the blogosphere in an attempt to get my life and schoolwork in order (excessive drinking) - i don't understand how to use strikethroughs yet but once i do my humor will perhaps reach dynamic news.

I understand that it's the off-season, and since there is not much to cover for us before free agency starts, my posts will most likely be infrequent. When the draft talk gets going, and perhaps we make some notable signings and/or trades, hopefully i can get the boys from the bar to contribute alongside me, and we can really get this thing rolling.

I want you all to know that I am almost frighteningly interested in this team, and want to offer any Vikings fan around the world to join with us for the upcoming season, one which, despite many pessimists, is filled to the brim with opportunity. We have such great support in downtown New York, and we come out to watch every week. The atmosphere is great, and once that really gets going, we are going to channel it to you through this site as best as possible

IF ANY VIKINGS FAN HAPPENS TO BE SPENDING SOME TIME IN NEW YORK ONCE THE SEASON GETS GOING, COME TO WATCH WITH US! You will be welcomed with open arms as I was, and I can't tell you how great a time you will have.

That said, follow and learn about this team. There's so much more than Adrian (well, i should say that there are many mortals that are also worth paying attention to) on the Vikes. We have such a diverse fan base from all over the world, and I see them all over the city, and just like any true sports fan, they are truly dedicated.

Anyways, this is more of a rant, but at least it's passionate. I want to look forward rather than meddle in recent mediocrity. We, the Vikings, really do have something here, and if anything, the Giants showed us what can be done with a team that the media and its own fan base is hard on. This is a top caliber unit, and I truly think that all we need is one splash this off-season to start the wave to Tampa.

Michael Crabtree

Future #1 Pick of 2009(?) - which means there is no way the Vikings will be in any position to draft him (as we plan on winning the next two superbowls), but for all viewing purposes, he is the AP of WR's. This kid was a true freshman last year, and it's a real shame he didn't go to one of the majors just to grace our televisions weekly. Watch...there is really no need for further explanation

SuperBowl Reflections

So i've had about two days and a parade viewing to let all that goodness stew in the ol' mind pot, and here are my condensed thoughts after that half mindless live blogging fiasco.

An unbelievable 3 quarters of Giants defense + an unbelievable final quarter of Giants offense = a GIANT victory.

First, the Defense.
secondary
As i discussed a few weeks ago, the Giants' secondary has thrived this season off of the defensive front's ability to get pressure on the quarterback. That being said, the front played an absolutely unbelievable game, manhandling the O-line on nearly every play. But even more startling was the ability of Giant defensive backs to contain in their coverage on the outside, regardless of the pressure. There were 3 plays i can recall where pressure didn't come for about 5 seconds, and sometimes 4 or 5 wide were running patterns, but Brady STILL couldn't find any receivers. Aside from the nearly indefensible Welker, Pat receivers were really held in check. Moss had a couple of big catches, but Webster did more than his fair share, often in single coverage, to bump moss of his routes, and played generally out-of-body man coverage.
backers
The key difference defensively between the Pats and Giants is the age and speed of their respective linebacker cores, and boy did that show. Kavika Mitchell is real, real, real fast. The quality of Pierce's intelligence, natural ability, and work ethic has never been questioned (although perhaps on that pass interference penalty), and Reggie Torbor's 72 Madden rating will most likely be the same next year, but who really was paying attention. In summary, these men were all over the field, disguising blitzes, and really benefiting from the front 4 pass rush in short coverage drop-backs.
line
Nothing to be said here that wasn't brutally apparent if you were at least a block away from your television. 19 knockdowns? I think that the next "Tuck rule" the NFL looks at concerning Brady should have to do with checking #91's limbs for metallic properties.


Now, the Offense (as a whole)
Eli "Unstoppable" Manning, living up to that watch commercial i have been making fun of him for daily - i will be making fun NO MORE. That last drive rivals any of the best superbowl/common nfl season last drive ever. Eli to Tyree? 'nuf said. Eli to Steve Smith? 'nuf said. Eli to Plax? 'nuf said. They sustained drives for a good portion of the game, and scored when they needed to. Aside from some obvious miscues throughout the game, the offense executed beautifully when necessary, and aside from some errant throws, Eli showed Elway like 2 minutes drill prowess.

Quick (Additional) Shout Outs

Steve Smith - you played 4 years at SC, Jarrett played 3...where are they now? I'll tell you where Steve Smith is, he's getting 4 more yards after the catch on the sideline for the crucial first down. Dwayne Jarrett is wishing the Panthers hadn't cut Key so he could have learned how to become an NFL ready player.
Justin Tuck - Wishing he could renegotiate that 5 year 30 mil contract into a more A-rod like deal.
Eli Manning - boy have I hated on you for the greater portion of your stay in the nfl...I now offer the white flag.

Belichick - Sucker old man. You are the personification of evil, and you lost, not to mention being up 4 points and going for it on 4th and 13 (instead of trying to go up by 7...and then having to watch Tom throw to the back of the endzone to 5'10" gaffney in double coverage). As a corollary, cheaters never win...um...or at least crack perfection.

Also, under-addressed by the media following the game, WHY WHY WHY are you single covering Plaxico "i catch touchdowns over midgets when deemed necessary" Burress with Ellis "i make up for my size with speed and shiftiness, but no, of course i can't go up for a jump ball" Hobbs...for all of your genius Bill, that was a blunder, plain and simple. That was absolutely disgusting.

Tom Brady - Better check Gisele's text message log. I wouldn't be surprised to see big E all over that by now.
Randy Moss - come back to the Vikings?
Junior, Teddy, Mike, Adalius, Rodney... - get off the juice, it's bad for you and NOT allowed

Wes - you deserve better, and are an absolutely amazing talent.

Final Take.
The Giants won this game with speed and magnificent heart. Way to leave it all on the field boys...still can't beat us in the meadowlands though YOU CLOWNS

SuperBowl LIVE

"He who is a Knight of Faith Cannot Divulge that Fact to Another" - Soren Kierkegaard

Regardless of the evils that are participating, superbowl is superbowl. Let's play.

Giants win the toss (obviously as feagles called tails, and tails NEVER fails - except when jerome bettis makes the call and the ref doesn't hear it)

Teddy Bruschi interview (I came back from a stroke in less than a year...and i don't take steroids...i swear...i'm 47 years old and i recovered from a stroke enough to play nfl football in a few months and i have never taken steroids nor do i today)

Buck - Finally, football

KICKOFF (not hester, not interested)

I'm surprised Ache-man can remember participating in superbowls with all of those CONCUSSIONS TO HIS HEAD

EEEEEELLLLLIIIIIII, with a beauty over the middle (confirmed by Joe Buck, which is really all the confirmation you need)

Stevie in coverage, of former USC glory, with another strike from Eli...eh...looks good for mini Peyton


The only thing that saves that audi commercial is the superior quality of the vehicle - that marketing team should be offered to the fire breathing man from the former


(1032) - great blocks up front on the 7 yard run from jacobs

completely unnecessary on-field commentary from some lady

Giants offense looks great, which isn't a surprise as the Patriots only weakness has been the opponents ability to pound the shit out of the 40+ linebacking core

ELI looking like Tom Brady, avoiding the heat and tossing a bullet to that other steve smith (Buck - "has a great feel for knowing where the holes are" NO HOMO)

Good idea with the pass to Burress, and a pretty solid pass, but hobbs 5'9" was far superior to Burress at 7'5"


STEVE SMITH MEET RODNEY (i took steroids and it didn't affect my personality or anything) HARRISON

Tynes of former 2 weeks ago folly and glory with the 32 yarder - not gonna do it today.


Called the Diet Pepsi Max commercial when it started - SOLID use of celebrities and average joes to create a phenomenal commercial

"I'M GONNA GO PUT MY CHEESE IN THE KITCHEN" - hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha - cheers to you!

Under armour, kindof need it, kindof need to protect my house, really wish i was more athletic


AND THE SHOW BEGINS...perhaps not, great pass rush...

Great call on the run. I predict Maroney, of former Golden Gopher glory, will have a big game

Welker runs amazing routs, and that fact can never be overstated

The fixture of the patriot offense, heath evans, STORMS for 2 yards.

Brady just threw an amazing pass, and Ben Watson...dropped it, which he does often, and people seem to neglect it because of his new age TE build...i am not neglecting it - he troy williamsons (a term that i have actually submitted to the people over at Webster dictionary) far more than you would expect after listening to all the rave reviews

Defensive captain Antonio Pierce forgot that when the quarterback throws a pass, not only is there an intended receiver, but there's a ball that flies through the air towards the receiver and it must be accounted for


Bridgestone, offering humor in an advertisement!

I have just put away my Doritos in protest of that last commercial, and am currently cancelling my itunes account to reinvigorate the buy-direct music market...thank yous to all involved parties, especially that no-name mediocre acoustic lady


Touchdown Patriots...something gives me the feeling that I will be writing that a lot today...


Derek Jeter offering words of poignant wisdom

godaddy.com has had commercials every year since it became a site, and they have always been awful - use siteground.com


"OH MY GOODNESS, it's a t-shirt sweatshirt!!!" - Sarah Nguyen


buck - "she's here with the quarterback...got some flowers last week..." - nothing better than that? You don't have anything better to say than that after you sit a whole commercial break knowing the camera is going to cue on her when the entirety of America tunes back in? Shameful - but thats his M.O.

Toomer with the offensive pass interference that would have been called on Moss 9 out of 10 times...

Coughlin looks bewildered, Peyton is audible-ing from the box, love it.

Eli, rough interception - threw it a bit too quickly, but fairly unlucky on the bounce - i said before the game that if Eli throws picks, a loss is inevitable - it will be interesting to see how he rebounds from this (perhaps it will be a bit like 11/25/07)

I HATE when the Patriots run the ball on third down - i don't care how short the distance is, Brady covers both local and long distance with a flat rate

Fumble - that's two turnovers...wait, how on earth did Pierre Woods not recover that ball...and why is Ahmad Bradshaw talking shit to Richard Seymour...but a punt nonetheless

Welker bringing back the 2nd grade backyard birthday party when everyone used to get along and your mom and dad pretended like the divorce didn't effect their opinions of one another slip-n-slide look


Careerbuilder.net, awesome, startling, but awesome

There was so much wrong with that don't do drugs commercial - but i will only point to the idea of returning children to the local street dealer instead of going in your medicine cabinet


The Giant's pass rush is OH SO SERIOUS I I I'M SO SO SUURIOOUSSS

BUFFALO WING BREAK - back, perhaps, by halftime...but i will not rush culinary enjoyment for much...

Back for all you non-believes

Randy Moss clearly caught that pass in bounds, but the ref's attempt to allow the Patriots to score was foiled by JUSTIN TUCK arrrghhhhhhhhhh - 5 years and 30 million dollars later, but a Google-like return on the investment

Why would i want to listen to Tom Petty right now? Why would people run across the field like wild buffalo, risking life and limb to get to a stage manned by such a musician?

"No one to blame but Janet Jackson" - Sarah Nguyen, of former Saratoga High Falcons glory

Vishnu of current blogging glory is really into this Tom Petty - "wammy bar, wammy bar, wammmmmmmmyyyyy baaaarrrrrrrrrrr" - if you don't get that joke fuck you

zzzzzzzz....zzzzzzzzzzz.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....
what? oh the show is over? no? ....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..... what? Is Tom Petty done playing yet? no? ....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

and we're back!!!

2ND HALF (7-3 Patriots)
"Offensively he wasn't so -mentary" - THANK YOU HIGH DEFINITION TIME WARNER IT IS UNBELIEVABLE TO ME THAT YOUR HEADQUARTERS HAS NOT BEEN BURNED DOWN BY CIVILIZATION AND ITS DISCONTENTS

Kevin looking like his brother in law Marshall...Then a completion to W Twice...I think at this point Randy Moss is just about to stop running his routes...

The Patriots answer to these blitz packages (as discussed by Jimmy Johnson, well done) came up a little short (PUN INTENDED)


HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA LOOK AT THOSE ASIAN PANDAS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA JESUS CHRIST ANIMATED ASIAN PANDAS

Shaquille (I haven't made enough money in my career) O'neal, most famously known for his supporting role along side Nick Nolte in Blue Chips, has resorted to making a commercial of such quality on the downside (end) of his career...

I don't know about you guys, but i'm pretty sure that every marketable demographic has forgotten about Carmen Elektra...

Bridgestone, what can I say, you hit and you miss (current tally: 1 for 2)


Absolutely brilliant challenge by Belichick - INFAMOUSLY coined in week 16 by Joe Gibbs against an invigorated Vikings team on its way to solidifying a place in the playoffs.
Chase BlackBurn-ed the Giants on that one...no?

Aaron Ross is the best rookie corner i've seen in a while, and i sure hope he gets his due. This kid is as smart, hard hitting, and fearless as any young'n in the league. Just take a look at the week 17 game against the Pats, where he came out of the game with a bruised right shoulder, came back in two series later, and on the first play dodged the blocker to knock down Gaffney on the receiver screen with that same shoulder...then came out again, and played a great game the next week.

Ok, i'm done with that...but what on earth did the Patriots do that for? 4th and 13, and you choose to go for it? That in itself is bad, but then you throw the ball to your 5th best receiver in double coverage in the back of the endzone...I guess that's when you wish your offensive coordinator wasn't 16 - and for good measure, God smited you by striking down your best offensive threat Faulk
Thank you Joe for agreeing with my sentiment
Thank you Troy for illustrating the Lord's work with the replay

Generous spot from the kind sirs donning zebra patterned attire

GREAT on the ball defense by Samuel - if they don't re-sign him, the Patriot philosophy of cheap acquisitions will have failed once and for all

My name is Jeff, Jeff Feaaaaggglleeeessss, I drive a Buick, a Buick Reeeeeegggggaaaalllll


WHO IS SEEING JUMPER WITH ME?! YOU? YOU? YOU? NONE OF YOU?!

E-Trade - i have no words - bravo to the human who pitched that

"I'll see Jumper with you" - Sarah Nguyen of current NYU Stern school of business double major (accounting AND marketing) violet/bobcat glory


AARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH Kavika Mitchell (who?!), Kavika Mitchell!!! (oh)

Hi, i'm Tom Brady, you may know me from such things as 16 yard completions when i have just been attacked at the goal line on the previous play...

Pam Oliver - wise words on potassium, cures to cramps, bananas, comfortability statistics as they relate to weather reports

"here are some of the bananas, trying to stay hydrated" - WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN TROY AIKMAN?

Ross (thanks) can't do everything i guess - Welker proves his manhood one crossing route at a time

Matt I cannot make Light of the penalty you have just committed...you get paid to make light work of the defensive front, and protect the guiding light that got you to where you are today...and this is how you do this?


In order for celebrity endorsements to be successful, they must be believable. Thankfully, Derek Jeter (@ 18 mil a year) has decided to advertise the Ford Edge to me...


As a sidenote, i wouldn't mind having a newsreal of every comment made by the "professionals" as to the invalidity (absurdity!!!) of Plaxico's prediction as to how many points the Patriots would score...

"How did sunsilk manage to score a superbowl commercial" - Sarah Nguyen, of future CPA at a choice of fortune 500 companies glory


Jeremey Shockey (EHEM KEVIN BOSS)...Eli has had a couple of great pump fakes. The success that the Giants have had without Shockey speaks to how TE's are often overpaid based on physical attributes, and HANDS are too often ignored in assessment.

Ahmad Bradshaw IS ON THE LOOSE...come back rook, there is football to be played here...

Steve Smith (who on earth is Dwayne Jarrett?) playing some solid football.

AND THE GIANTS TAKE THE LEEADDDDDDDDDDD...that play-action fooled me, as i was very close to scolding Ahmad for taking to long to read the D at the line of scrimmage...


"Seats 8 crazies...(whispering) but how many humansss?" - Sarah Nguyen, of former St. Andrews Episcopal Elementary Saints glory

How long do you advertise Sarah Connor Chronicles before throwing in the towel?


And the comeback begins...Randy Moss has deemed it a necessary time to return to the superbowl game...

Look at that symmetry with the week 17 comparison - i applaud those in the booth

"offensive line vs. defensive line is always just whites versus blacks"
"except when its patrick kerney on leonard davis"
"...on an inside stunt"


The baby is back with his take on what to do with your profits

"GOING SOMEWHERE WITH YOUR FIESTA PLATTERS?!"

Gatorade...firing that group of people who made your commercials legendary, most likely based on conflicting egos, was probably not the best decision for your brand success


ESCAPABILITY AND ----------- NOTHING!!!! Jesus Eli what the fuck was that
"I'm not sure he doesn't score if he catches that ball" - Troy Ache-man - took good ol' Troy a while (3 teleision replays) to come up with that brilliant analysis


Hyundai...in its ongoing pursuit to appeal to a mature, upper-middle class, stylish consumer base...you gotta give them credit for disregarding consistent failure in the attempt to achieve their initial goal


J Twice (John Johnson) is looking especially old with the arrival of HD

Pats are matriculating the ball down the field
This just in!!! Matriculating means enrolling in a college or university

If Wes Welker (who just set the superbowl record for receptions) is not the MVP when the Patriots pull this one out, then you know, i just don't know who is. And i'll be sad about it, i'm not gonna lie. It will be a sad thing for me if Goodell does not bequeath said honor on said pass catcher. Often players of his calbur are overshadowed by the Moss's of the world, but not today my friends...not today - hopefully. What i'm saying is that i hope that today it doesn't happen like that, but it still might, which would be a travesty.

So, a fake hand off, a pump fake, an open Randy Moss, and....SQUAT.

James Butler, not to be confused with a player of any talent whatsoever, is currently injured

3rd and goal baby, this is where it all happens...
TOUCHDOWN RANDY MOSS (often confused with freckly, undrafted NBA journeyman center Keith Closs, of similar sounding name)

"these two hooked up a record 23 times in the season" NO HOMO

"Hixon with the return, he had a touchdown return earlier in the seas---ohhhhhh!!!" - Joe Buck

CAN ELI ETCH HIS NAME IN THE (family) HISTORY BOOKS?!?!

Jesus Christ Eli DON'T THROW OFF YOUR BACK FOOT WITH ONE MINUTE AND FIFTY NINE SECONDS LEFT IN THE GAME INTO DOUBLE COVERAGE


Well timed and executed Victoria Secret commercial

Ben Roth-less-berger...get back on your motorcycle and drive it directly into a brick wall


The referee seems to be arbitrarily picking up and placing the ball on the field for no real reason. No big deal it's not the biggest game of the year (ever) or anything

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG GOT ITTTTT!

It's a shame that i just learned Mike Carey's name after years of referring to him as "the black ref" when praisng his abilities.

Aikman coming through with the spelling-bee-like-usage of "Demonstrative" - in context I couldnt agree more...

OH MY GOD ON SO MANY LEVELS RIGHT NOW. THAT IS THE BEST PLAY I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. Give me a minute to regroup.
Did anyone see what just happened on the television? I hope you did. Actually I hope your girlfriend asked you to get her a rasberry flavored smirnoff ice from the kitchen.

Steve Smith, 4 year college player, making 4 year college-like plays

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOGMOGMOGMOGMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOGMOGMOGMOGMOGMOGMOGMOGMOGMOGMOGMGOMGMOGMOGMGOGMOGMOGMOGMOGMOGMOGO

ELI MANNING, ELI MANNING TO PLAXICO BURRESS, PLAXICO BURRESS FROM ELI MANNING

And to think i was close to writing "Plaxico Shmlaxico"

Ok, now i'm ready to disect that play a little bit. For as great as the Pats coaching staff has been all year, how on earth are you going to single cover Plaxico with Ellis Hobbs on first and goal?
WHY ARE YOU USING A 5 FOOT 9 CORNER IN SINGLE COVERAGE AGAINST A 6 FOR 5 TOUCHDOWN DEMON

Congrats on just blowing the greatest season in football history, you stupid fucking Patriots

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ROOKIE (followed by "rookie" - joe buck) JAY ALFORD

Randy Moss just dropped one of the best passes I have ever seen, and with that, the 2007-2008 New England Patriots have just dropped the ball on the best season in football history.

LEAVE IT TO THE CLOCK MANAGERS TO SUCK THE AIR OUT OF THE CELEBRATION. I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT THIS IS WHAT HAS JUST HAPPENED TO THE CELEBRATION. CONGRATULATIONS CLOCK MANAGERS, CONGRATULATIONS.



It's over. The New York Football Giants have just beaten the New England We Can't Close the Deal Patriots to win superbowl 42.

I'm going to go enjoy the post-game, goodnight folks.

The New York Football Super Bowl Giants

Here's a little taste of reality

While the media is close to crowning you, i see a post-super-bowl-loss-future somewhat more like Rex (benched), and the Bears (7-9).

See you next year young Eli

BOY WAS I INCORRECT ABOUT THIS BIASED ASSERTION

I wonder how the Giants second unit secondary is playing so well...

BECAUSE THEY HAVE A PASS RUSH!!!

That being said, take a look at this guy.



Yeah...

That being seen, i wish we hadn't have shown up late this year just to falter against the Redskins, because this guy is definitely going in the top 10. Is it possible to trade up for him? Perhaps, but i am convinced that whether we need to trade up, or trade out of our first round selection, we need to do something more productive with that 17th pick - and DE is the FIRST position we must address, for the following reasons:

Childress passed on showing even the slightest interest in stud free agent Pro Bowler Patrick Kerney last season, most likely due to his faith in the deepest d-end core of mediocrity in the league. Udeze, James, Robison, Edwards, Scott, Mitchell, and i've gotten bored with listing the countless names under 5 sacks. The fact is, outside of the Williams' Wall, our edge rushers are a joke to most second rate offensive tackles. It's about time we stop meddling in this mess of underachievers (although i believe edwards and robison should remain), and truly go for someone who can do the job. The free agent market is thin, so the draft could be our best bet, but instead of adding to the list of mid first round busts at the position, let's make a splash and jump to take a player with franchise potential (see above video, goodness gracious).

The most important point to this is that teams with mediocre cover defensive backs only truly suffer when their pass rush is impotent. As exhibited by the Giants run through the NFC without two of their starting secondary members, an adequate pass rush, even the fear of an adequate pass rush, can make nickelbacks look like champ bailey. Our corners are not the fastest, and that's an understatement, but they are great jam-at-the-line players (especially Griffin). With the ability to rush the passer, and get an outside jam at the line of scrimmage, our defense can finally be one of legendary comparison.

So, on draft day, if we can't mortgage the house to get Larry Fitzgerald (which i am all for in lieu of this), can we please direct our attention finally to the pass defense, on the front lines, where the battle is actually won.

Troy Williamson High(low)lights

And with the 7th pick in the 2005 NFL draft, the Minnesota Vikings select...







...Demarcus Ware? Shawne Merriman? No crazies we picked Troy Williamson, the speedster out of South Carolina who caught 91 passes in his 2 years of college life. I wish i could have been in the draft room with Tice when he brought his laptop out and said - hey guys, we pick in 10 minutes and i was browsing this thing called the internet that my wife showed me last night. Look at this, let's take this kid!

Well we all know how this worked out. The most Troy has done in his brief (and soon to be over) career is alert the media to the travesty of not giving a player his game check when he disappears for a week for his grandmother's funeral...let's be real, Troy didn't earn his money, so fuck his game check, and with all of that signing bonus, i'm sure it's no trouble for him to be out a game check when paying for his family to attend a funeral. In the real world people earn the checks they are paid, or they are fired. We could have traded that pick for a gardener and gotten more production in his three years at the dome. We could have invested that money in Enron and atleast come out of that draft with more public sympathy. We could have done a lot of things, but we didn't, and now we must move on.

On the day he is cut, i will be throwing a party, which i will pay for with my weekly check

Bar None, New York, NY, 10003

If you are a Minnesota Viking fan and you happen to currently reside in New York City (or just happen to be passing through with your blackberry and a suit on a business trip, or if you were sued by someone for a traffic accident that took place in New York and they tricked you into getting served by inviting you for a fake job promotion meeting with headquarters), Bar None is the place to watch Vikings football - we meet, we yell, we drink, and we talk a whole lot of shit about Troy Williamson - this is not for the faint of heart, or the faint of true fanhood. WE BLEED PURPLE.

98 3rd avenue, every Sunday of the Season


But in the meantime, as we are waiting for the next 8 months to pass as quickly as possible, this site will offer Vikings banter to the masses. Enjoy and contribute as you feel so inclined.