For Vikings in NYC

Bar None is where we watch (2nd avenue btwn 12th & 13th st)

Sundays at 1:00, sometimes at 4:15, and Monday nights if we're lucky. Every Fan is welcome! Come join our group in support of the greatest North American team since the 1000's


Sunday, February 3, 2008

SuperBowl LIVE

"He who is a Knight of Faith Cannot Divulge that Fact to Another" - Soren Kierkegaard


Regardless of the evils that are participating, superbowl is superbowl. Let's play.

Giants win the toss (obviously as feagles called tails, and tails NEVER fails - except when jerome bettis makes the call and the ref doesn't hear it)

Teddy Bruschi interview (I came back from a stroke in less than a year...and i don't take steroids...i swear...i'm 47 years old and i recovered from a stroke enough to play nfl football in a few months and i have never taken steroids nor do i today)

Buck - Finally, football

KICKOFF (not hester, not interested)

I'm surprised Ache-man can remember participating in superbowls with all of those CONCUSSIONS TO HIS HEAD

EEEEEELLLLLIIIIIII, with a beauty over the middle (confirmed by Joe Buck, which is really all the confirmation you need)

Stevie in coverage, of former USC glory, with another strike from Eli...eh...looks good for mini Peyton


The only thing that saves that audi commercial is the superior quality of the vehicle - that marketing team should be offered to the fire breathing man from the former


(1032) - great blocks up front on the 7 yard run from jacobs

completely unnecessary on-field commentary from some lady

Giants offense looks great, which isn't a surprise as the Patriots only weakness has been the opponents ability to pound the shit out of the 40+ linebacking core

ELI looking like Tom Brady, avoiding the heat and tossing a bullet to that other steve smith (Buck - "has a great feel for knowing where the holes are" NO HOMO)

Good idea with the pass to Burress, and a pretty solid pass, but hobbs 5'9" was far superior to Burress at 7'5"


STEVE SMITH MEET RODNEY (i took steroids and it didn't affect my personality or anything) HARRISON

Tynes of former 2 weeks ago folly and glory with the 32 yarder - not gonna do it today.


Called the Diet Pepsi Max commercial when it started - SOLID use of celebrities and average joes to create a phenomenal commercial

"I'M GONNA GO PUT MY CHEESE IN THE KITCHEN" - hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha - cheers to you!

Under armour, kindof need it, kindof need to protect my house, really wish i was more athletic


AND THE SHOW BEGINS...perhaps not, great pass rush...

Great call on the run. I predict Maroney, of former Golden Gopher glory, will have a big game

Welker runs amazing routs, and that fact can never be overstated

The fixture of the patriot offense, heath evans, STORMS for 2 yards.

Brady just threw an amazing pass, and Ben Watson...dropped it, which he does often, and people seem to neglect it because of his new age TE build...i am not neglecting it - he troy williamsons (a term that i have actually submitted to the people over at Webster dictionary) far more than you would expect after listening to all the rave reviews

Defensive captain Antonio Pierce forgot that when the quarterback throws a pass, not only is there an intended receiver, but there's a ball that flies through the air towards the receiver and it must be accounted for


Bridgestone, offering humor in an advertisement!

I have just put away my Doritos in protest of that last commercial, and am currently cancelling my itunes account to reinvigorate the buy-direct music market...thank yous to all involved parties, especially that no-name mediocre acoustic lady


Touchdown Patriots...something gives me the feeling that I will be writing that a lot today...


Derek Jeter offering words of poignant wisdom

godaddy.com has had commercials every year since it became a site, and they have always been awful - use siteground.com


"OH MY GOODNESS, it's a t-shirt sweatshirt!!!" - Sarah Nguyen


buck - "she's here with the quarterback...got some flowers last week..." - nothing better than that? You don't have anything better to say than that after you sit a whole commercial break knowing the camera is going to cue on her when the entirety of America tunes back in? Shameful - but thats his M.O.

Toomer with the offensive pass interference that would have been called on Moss 9 out of 10 times...

Coughlin looks bewildered, Peyton is audible-ing from the box, love it.

Eli, rough interception - threw it a bit too quickly, but fairly unlucky on the bounce - i said before the game that if Eli throws picks, a loss is inevitable - it will be interesting to see how he rebounds from this (perhaps it will be a bit like 11/25/07)

I HATE when the Patriots run the ball on third down - i don't care how short the distance is, Brady covers both local and long distance with a flat rate

Fumble - that's two turnovers...wait, how on earth did Pierre Woods not recover that ball...and why is Ahmad Bradshaw talking shit to Richard Seymour...but a punt nonetheless

Welker bringing back the 2nd grade backyard birthday party when everyone used to get along and your mom and dad pretended like the divorce didn't effect their opinions of one another slip-n-slide look


Careerbuilder.net, awesome, startling, but awesome

There was so much wrong with that don't do drugs commercial - but i will only point to the idea of returning children to the local street dealer instead of going in your medicine cabinet


The Giant's pass rush is OH SO SERIOUS I I I'M SO SO SUURIOOUSSS

BUFFALO WING BREAK - back, perhaps, by halftime...but i will not rush culinary enjoyment for much...

Back for all you non-believes

Randy Moss clearly caught that pass in bounds, but the ref's attempt to allow the Patriots to score was foiled by JUSTIN TUCK arrrghhhhhhhhhh - 5 years and 30 million dollars later, but a Google-like return on the investment

Why would i want to listen to Tom Petty right now? Why would people run across the field like wild buffalo, risking life and limb to get to a stage manned by such a musician?

"No one to blame but Janet Jackson" - Sarah Nguyen, of former Saratoga High Falcons glory

Vishnu of current blogging glory is really into this Tom Petty - "wammy bar, wammy bar, wammmmmmmmyyyyy baaaarrrrrrrrrrr" - if you don't get that joke fuck you

zzzzzzzz....zzzzzzzzzzz.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....
what? oh the show is over? no? ....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..... what? Is Tom Petty done playing yet? no? ....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

and we're back!!!

2ND HALF (7-3 Patriots)
"Offensively he wasn't so -mentary" - THANK YOU HIGH DEFINITION TIME WARNER IT IS UNBELIEVABLE TO ME THAT YOUR HEADQUARTERS HAS NOT BEEN BURNED DOWN BY CIVILIZATION AND ITS DISCONTENTS

Kevin looking like his brother in law Marshall...Then a completion to W Twice...I think at this point Randy Moss is just about to stop running his routes...

The Patriots answer to these blitz packages (as discussed by Jimmy Johnson, well done) came up a little short (PUN INTENDED)


HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA LOOK AT THOSE ASIAN PANDAS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA JESUS CHRIST ANIMATED ASIAN PANDAS

Shaquille (I haven't made enough money in my career) O'neal, most famously known for his supporting role along side Nick Nolte in Blue Chips, has resorted to making a commercial of such quality on the downside (end) of his career...

I don't know about you guys, but i'm pretty sure that every marketable demographic has forgotten about Carmen Elektra...

Bridgestone, what can I say, you hit and you miss (current tally: 1 for 2)


Absolutely brilliant challenge by Belichick - INFAMOUSLY coined in week 16 by Joe Gibbs against an invigorated Vikings team on its way to solidifying a place in the playoffs.
Chase BlackBurn-ed the Giants on that one...no?

Aaron Ross is the best rookie corner i've seen in a while, and i sure hope he gets his due. This kid is as smart, hard hitting, and fearless as any young'n in the league. Just take a look at the week 17 game against the Pats, where he came out of the game with a bruised right shoulder, came back in two series later, and on the first play dodged the blocker to knock down Gaffney on the receiver screen with that same shoulder...then came out again, and played a great game the next week.

Ok, i'm done with that...but what on earth did the Patriots do that for? 4th and 13, and you choose to go for it? That in itself is bad, but then you throw the ball to your 5th best receiver in double coverage in the back of the endzone...I guess that's when you wish your offensive coordinator wasn't 16 - and for good measure, God smited you by striking down your best offensive threat Faulk
Thank you Joe for agreeing with my sentiment
Thank you Troy for illustrating the Lord's work with the replay

Generous spot from the kind sirs donning zebra patterned attire

GREAT on the ball defense by Samuel - if they don't re-sign him, the Patriot philosophy of cheap acquisitions will have failed once and for all

My name is Jeff, Jeff Feaaaaggglleeeessss, I drive a Buick, a Buick Reeeeeegggggaaaalllll


WHO IS SEEING JUMPER WITH ME?! YOU? YOU? YOU? NONE OF YOU?!

E-Trade - i have no words - bravo to the human who pitched that

"I'll see Jumper with you" - Sarah Nguyen of current NYU Stern school of business double major (accounting AND marketing) violet/bobcat glory


AARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH Kavika Mitchell (who?!), Kavika Mitchell!!! (oh)

Hi, i'm Tom Brady, you may know me from such things as 16 yard completions when i have just been attacked at the goal line on the previous play...

Pam Oliver - wise words on potassium, cures to cramps, bananas, comfortability statistics as they relate to weather reports

"here are some of the bananas, trying to stay hydrated" - WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN TROY AIKMAN?

Ross (thanks) can't do everything i guess - Welker proves his manhood one crossing route at a time

Matt I cannot make Light of the penalty you have just committed...you get paid to make light work of the defensive front, and protect the guiding light that got you to where you are today...and this is how you do this?


In order for celebrity endorsements to be successful, they must be believable. Thankfully, Derek Jeter (@ 18 mil a year) has decided to advertise the Ford Edge to me...


As a sidenote, i wouldn't mind having a newsreal of every comment made by the "professionals" as to the invalidity (absurdity!!!) of Plaxico's prediction as to how many points the Patriots would score...

"How did sunsilk manage to score a superbowl commercial" - Sarah Nguyen, of future CPA at a choice of fortune 500 companies glory


Jeremey Shockey (EHEM KEVIN BOSS)...Eli has had a couple of great pump fakes. The success that the Giants have had without Shockey speaks to how TE's are often overpaid based on physical attributes, and HANDS are too often ignored in assessment.

Ahmad Bradshaw IS ON THE LOOSE...come back rook, there is football to be played here...

Steve Smith (who on earth is Dwayne Jarrett?) playing some solid football.

AND THE GIANTS TAKE THE LEEADDDDDDDDDDD...that play-action fooled me, as i was very close to scolding Ahmad for taking to long to read the D at the line of scrimmage...


"Seats 8 crazies...(whispering) but how many humansss?" - Sarah Nguyen, of former St. Andrews Episcopal Elementary Saints glory

How long do you advertise Sarah Connor Chronicles before throwing in the towel?


And the comeback begins...Randy Moss has deemed it a necessary time to return to the superbowl game...

Look at that symmetry with the week 17 comparison - i applaud those in the booth

"offensive line vs. defensive line is always just whites versus blacks"
"except when its patrick kerney on leonard davis"
"...on an inside stunt"


The baby is back with his take on what to do with your profits

"GOING SOMEWHERE WITH YOUR FIESTA PLATTERS?!"

Gatorade...firing that group of people who made your commercials legendary, most likely based on conflicting egos, was probably not the best decision for your brand success


ESCAPABILITY AND ----------- NOTHING!!!! Jesus Eli what the fuck was that
"I'm not sure he doesn't score if he catches that ball" - Troy Ache-man - took good ol' Troy a while (3 teleision replays) to come up with that brilliant analysis


Hyundai...in its ongoing pursuit to appeal to a mature, upper-middle class, stylish consumer base...you gotta give them credit for disregarding consistent failure in the attempt to achieve their initial goal


J Twice (John Johnson) is looking especially old with the arrival of HD

Pats are matriculating the ball down the field
This just in!!! Matriculating means enrolling in a college or university

If Wes Welker (who just set the superbowl record for receptions) is not the MVP when the Patriots pull this one out, then you know, i just don't know who is. And i'll be sad about it, i'm not gonna lie. It will be a sad thing for me if Goodell does not bequeath said honor on said pass catcher. Often players of his calbur are overshadowed by the Moss's of the world, but not today my friends...not today - hopefully. What i'm saying is that i hope that today it doesn't happen like that, but it still might, which would be a travesty.

So, a fake hand off, a pump fake, an open Randy Moss, and....SQUAT.

James Butler, not to be confused with a player of any talent whatsoever, is currently injured

3rd and goal baby, this is where it all happens...
TOUCHDOWN RANDY MOSS (often confused with freckly, undrafted NBA journeyman center Keith Closs, of similar sounding name)

"these two hooked up a record 23 times in the season" NO HOMO

"Hixon with the return, he had a touchdown return earlier in the seas---ohhhhhh!!!" - Joe Buck

CAN ELI ETCH HIS NAME IN THE (family) HISTORY BOOKS?!?!

Jesus Christ Eli DON'T THROW OFF YOUR BACK FOOT WITH ONE MINUTE AND FIFTY NINE SECONDS LEFT IN THE GAME INTO DOUBLE COVERAGE


Well timed and executed Victoria Secret commercial

Ben Roth-less-berger...get back on your motorcycle and drive it directly into a brick wall


The referee seems to be arbitrarily picking up and placing the ball on the field for no real reason. No big deal it's not the biggest game of the year (ever) or anything

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG GOT ITTTTT!

It's a shame that i just learned Mike Carey's name after years of referring to him as "the black ref" when praisng his abilities.

Aikman coming through with the spelling-bee-like-usage of "Demonstrative" - in context I couldnt agree more...

OH MY GOD ON SO MANY LEVELS RIGHT NOW. THAT IS THE BEST PLAY I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. Give me a minute to regroup.
Did anyone see what just happened on the television? I hope you did. Actually I hope your girlfriend asked you to get her a rasberry flavored smirnoff ice from the kitchen.

Steve Smith, 4 year college player, making 4 year college-like plays

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOGMOGMOGMOGMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOGMOGMOGMOGMOGMOGMOGMOGMOGMOGMOGMGOMGMOGMOGMGOGMOGMOGMOGMOGMOGMOGO

ELI MANNING, ELI MANNING TO PLAXICO BURRESS, PLAXICO BURRESS FROM ELI MANNING

And to think i was close to writing "Plaxico Shmlaxico"

Ok, now i'm ready to disect that play a little bit. For as great as the Pats coaching staff has been all year, how on earth are you going to single cover Plaxico with Ellis Hobbs on first and goal?
WHY ARE YOU USING A 5 FOOT 9 CORNER IN SINGLE COVERAGE AGAINST A 6 FOR 5 TOUCHDOWN DEMON

Congrats on just blowing the greatest season in football history, you stupid fucking Patriots

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ROOKIE (followed by "rookie" - joe buck) JAY ALFORD

Randy Moss just dropped one of the best passes I have ever seen, and with that, the 2007-2008 New England Patriots have just dropped the ball on the best season in football history.

LEAVE IT TO THE CLOCK MANAGERS TO SUCK THE AIR OUT OF THE CELEBRATION. I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT THIS IS WHAT HAS JUST HAPPENED TO THE CELEBRATION. CONGRATULATIONS CLOCK MANAGERS, CONGRATULATIONS.



It's over. The New York Football Giants have just beaten the New England We Can't Close the Deal Patriots to win superbowl 42.

I'm going to go enjoy the post-game, goodnight folks.

1 comment:

V-SPOT said...

Solid post. Solid post, my friend. Keep up the good work. I'll see you around.